I swear to you, this is it. Most of the time this stuff doesn't amuse me, but this little cartoon is different.

Enjoy everybody.

So, for the umpteenth time since we made the cataclysmic decision to sign up with stargate dot com, we're having HUGE problems getting my blog moved there. It seems that their one of the few hosts that don't have a cPanel that's worth a shit, making the process very tedious and time consuming.

The person doing my design and move has been VERY patient, but we are close to the point where I just say "FUCK IT!" and move it all to Bluehost dot com. I am sick and tired of being ignored at stargate.

Like today. I called support and everyone's busy. So I try their "Insta-chat" support feature and am told that it's for sales only, and to call support, who it turn are all busy. So I then open a ticket at livechat's advice and am told that someone will be with me momentarily.

Five hours later, and the ticket doesn't even show up yet. Hell, the support guy I was getting chat-transferred to dumped the connection, so I'm no further than I was four days ago, except my money's getting spent on a developer and my host is fucking the whole thing up times ten.

For the record, my consultanty person has been uber-professional and understanding and committed, but I question how long she'll put up with this shit.

You better get it together stargate dot com. There are about five gozillion hosts out there that would be more than willing to simply not suck at what they do.


Update:

Fuck Stargate dot com. Fuck them Fuck them Fuck them.

After dragging their dicks in the dirt for nearly 8 days, I made the now very easy decision to move to bluehost dot com. And do you know what? They offer a free domain with a transfer, the transfers were ten bucks a piece, I got my new domain immediately, and lo and behold, my developer person has already uploaded a lot of the template to the new site, www.tmlsb.com!

Now tell me how a hosting company stays in business when they don't answer support requests at all, they don't take support calls and it's impossible to get sites up and running? Oh, and they charge 6.50 a month more for less stuff than bluehost dot com.

Oh, and if you by chance do have any trouble with bluehost.com, do you know what you do? YOU CALL THE 800 NUMBER PLASTERED ALL OVER THE FRONT PAGE OF THEIR WEBSITE!!!

Stargate? Why, you had to drill thru a number of windows before finding a toll number that did nothing more than do a loop transfer to a voicemail or back to the receptionist.

Thanks Bluehost and Fuck off and Die Stargate!!

Here's the second of the two banners you will have to choose from when visiting my new blog, located at: http://www.tmlsb.com

This is one of the two banners you'll be able to choose from at my new and improved site: http://www.tmlsb.com

But I've lifted yet another idea from another blogger. With the exception of some homo-erotic brokeback videos I've posted recently, this seems to be all I can do lately.

Anyway, here's the quiz. Sure, it's kind of like those "100 things" or "five things" or whatever quizes, but hey, if you're still here reading this crap, then you're obviously interested.

Oh, and if you're still reading this Mrs. Weber, thanks for all of your hard work and I look forward to seeing you and Mr. Weber in September.

A If you were an ANIMAL, what would you be? I would be a Labrador Retriever. Or possibly a Hawk.

B BOOKS: What’s on your reading list? I am curretly reading Life Expectancy by Dean Koontz and a true crime story called "Cop" by a 21 year LAPD veteran.

C COMPULSIVE about anything? I am compulsive about being on time, my daughters obeying their parents and weighing 199 pounds. The last one's not yet been re-attained.

D DREAMS - Do you … dream in color? remember your dreams? keep a dream journal? I dream in color. I do remember some dreams but not all the time. And the only dream journal I would ever keep is if I wrote about them here.

E EATING - what’s your usual snack? My usual snack is either a Kashi bar (the greatest snack bar ever) or a mustard and swiss sandwhich.

F A Few of your FAVORITE Things: Taking pictures, cooking on my Big Green Eggs, pitching horseshoes, sitting next to my wife in bed while we both goof around on our laptops, having an early afternoon beer with friends at the beach, someday sleeping thru the night again.

G GIGGLES! What (or who) makes you laugh? Do you have a good sense of humor? I think I have a great sense of humor. My wife is, without question, the funniest person I know. My neighbor Stephen is the funniest son of a bitch I think I've ever met in person. Ever.

H major HOT Button: I fucking hate rude or blatantly inattentive drivers.

I I am fiercely protective of my friends and family.

K Also KNOWN As… Aliases? Screen names? A non de plume perhaps? Well, I wrote NASCAR columns around teh internets under the name Mark Backer for a few years. And my BGE screen name is Dos Huevos (Spanish for Two Eggs).

L I LOVE …My wife. More than anyone or anything on the planet.

M How do you feel about MEETING people? Do it all the time? Rarely? Parties or 1-on-1? I enjoy meeting people and do it often. I am horrific with names though. I've got neighbors that, I swear to God, it took me TWO YEARS to remember their names. Most folks that know me know that though, and I'm often mocked for it.

N What’s the story of your NAME? were you named after anyone? Do you go by a nickname? Any aliases? To the best of my knowledge, my name has no story. I'm not named after anyone that I know of. I only know that one time my dad looked me in the face and said "If you need any proof that I love you, know that I didn't name you Floyd Jr." I thought that was pretty cool of him.

O OBSERVANT - What’s around you right now? What do you see? A mess. My desk is always always always a mess. My wife has seizures when she visits my office. If we have "visitors" coming to the office, my desk warrants a special visit from the President to remind me to tidy up a bit.

Q Any Little QUIRKs About Yourself: I know the zip codes of the entire metro Atlanta area. I once had the theme from Indiana Jones and the song Rockytop in my head for over two years. Anytime a tune came out either by whistling or humming, it was one of those two.

R What do you like to do for RECREATION? Throw horseshoes, take pictures, go to the lake, play the mailbox game that I invented (along with my nephew and BIL).

S Do You SING in the Shower? In the car? For your friends? I never sing in the shower. My wife would stab me in the neck with a diffuser if I did that. I do sing LOUDLY in the car, and I also sing while mowing the lawn and working out. Those last two are covered up with my iPod, so the only folks that can hear me are the folks around me.

T What’s at the Top of your TO DO list?: Figure out what I want to do when I grow up.

U Any UNUSUAL Experiences: I had cardiac bypass surgery out of nowhere at age 37 just last November after being told by half a dozen doctors I was lucky to not have dropped dead of a heart attack in the previous six months.

V VEGAS,Vienna,Venice,Vladivostok… How far have you traveled? What’s your favorite City? I've been to Cancun, california, the midwest, the Bahamas and Jamaica. Nothing truly far away. My favorite cities are Hilton Head, SC and Boston, MA.

W WINTER, Spring, Summer, Fall… What’s your favorite season? My favorite season, without question, is Fall. Both for weather and sports.

X EXes - Things You Don’t Do Anymore (but did, once (would you, again?)) Eat absolutely shitty foods in enormous quantities whenever I felt like it. If there were no health risks or drawbacks, I'd do that again in a second.

Y Any secret/deep YEARNINGS? A son. And to win the lottery. But that last one isn't secret.

Z ZERO to ZENITH - Where are you in your life? Still growing? On an upward (or downward) curve? Just skating along? Right now I'm just sort of skating along. Since my surgery I don't take my career as seriously as I used to. Meaning I don't sweat the little stuff at work. My family and being alive matter more than anything else. Period. Everything else is window dressing.