A few things in the news lately have made me pause and think. (These are listed in no particular order either).

One: What is the deal recently with folks killing kids all over the place? Stabbing, hanging, strangling, beating, etc. It makes me crazy thinking about all of the people that want children but can't have them, only to hit the news once a week and find some fucking crackhead douchebag growing tired of his woman's baby and decide to pull a Kenny Hardwick or a Susan Smith.

This crime ignores racial lines as well, despite what you would be led to believe. It turns out that you don't have to be of a particular race to be a violent asshole fuckwad.

Would the runaway bride story please fucking dry up and die already? Who on earth truly gives a shit that this broad is in some "treatment program?" She oughta be in the gwinnett county lockup's treatment program for repeat shoplifters who commit felonies. I can't believe that these folks that live in Mayberry, USA can make a metro county ignore the law and in turn just keep letting this loonie chick out to commit more crimes.

Oh, and how much longer do you think it will be before there's a story on page 20 of the living section saying that her pussy of a fiancee has decided to "let things cool off" and calls off the wedding.

Maybe part of her "rehab and therapy" is filling out by hand all of the thank you / apology letters, gift return shipping labels and other various correspondence required of a soon to be not-bride-to-be that's crazy as a shit-house rat...

In sports, the totally unwatchable NBA is taking one step closer to disappearing by announcing that there is a work stoppage scheduled for June 30th. If the NBA goes on strike or has a lockout or anything else, I hope the lot of them fall off a cliff in a parade of escolades with spinners spinning...

Barry Bonds' return from a third knee surgery is being slowed by an infection. And the fact that his system's so polluted with steroids that he could give birth to a 1970's eastern block women's swim team. Are his 703 home runs impressive? Sure. Is he a first ballot hall of famer? Of course? Is he the greatest player in 30 years? Maybe.

Will he be remembered negatively because of this whole steroid thing? Sure, but I don't really give a shit.

Graduation season is in full swing, and I hope that parents and kids alike will remember how dangerous drinking and driving is. I always find myself sad that Sunday morning when I am watching the news and see that four "great kids" died in a car crash driving home drunk from a graduation party.

Kids...let me tell you something. You are "adults" now. What you need to do if you're too drunk is call your parents on your cell phone, tell them you're spending the night, and go to sleep in a pool of your own urine like you should.

There is no excuse for driving drunk and endangering your life or others' lives while acting so irresponsibly.

And if your parents demand that you come home, just say no. Being grounded is better than being dead. Think further into your future than your next funneled beer. You'll save your familyand friends the sorrow of attending your funeral or your trial for vehicular homicide.

My Grandfather and his wife are in town for my brother's (gulp) High School graduation. I am absolutely floored that my wife is going to have a baby the same year he goes to college, especially since he was born the Thanksgiving weekend the year I went to college.

I WANT AN I-POD!!! There. I said it. And between now and my (and our nation's) birthday, I will have one. I cannot wait.

My nephew (the one I've been tutoring in ninth grade algebra) currently has an 80.3, which is a B by the thinnest of threads. He has one more test on Tuesday over a chapter I have not yet seen. This could be the greatest comeback since Alan Kulwicki in 1992. Keep your fingers crossed for another week and I'll keep you posted.

That's about it for now. Here are today's baby name ideas or names that are ruled out without discussion.

My child will not be named anything to do with Michael Jackson, Prince, Paris, McCauley, Jesus Juice or anything related to that lunacy.

My baby will not be named scott peterson.

My baby could be named Cadillac.

We are considering) but not seriously, family name type options as well. These include Floyd, Tolef, Elsie, Melda...oh wait. No we're not.

Seriously, one of the funniest things my dad's ever told me is this (I'm paraphrasing):

"If you ever wonder if I love you, know that I loved you enough NOT to make you a Junior."

My dad's name is Floyd.

I love you too, dad.