I was sitting here glancing at the new copy of Spin magazine and looking forward to their "100 best record from 1985 to 2005" and thinking "Hmmmm....wonder what my 10 favorites are?" when I stumbled across this photo essay about the 70's in New York City in general and Studio 54 in particular.

You know what you missed by NOT being in NY in the 70's?

I contend that you missed nothing.

Look thru these pictures and see if this is something you wish you'd been in the middle of:

linky-poo

Anywho, let's get back to the top 100 records of the last 20 years, and then I'll give you mine. See, I was graduating in 1986 from my lily-white high school and was just getting exposed to different music besides the usual Zeppelin, Neil Young, Hendrix, The Doors, and other crap people listened to before, while and after they got high. Or when they worked in the kitchen at Italian restaurants.

By the way, this will either be several blogs, or the longest blog you've ever seen from me. We'll play that part by ear.

1) Radiohead - OK Computer, 1997 as number one.
Nope. Not even close. I like a lot of different kinds of music but I will never ever get radiohead. For that matter, I seldom seem to get the stuff that "those" people get and they can't figure out why I don't see it. Well I don't. I just don't. Let's move on.

2) Public Enemy - It Takes a Nation of Millions To Hold Us Back, 1988
Totally kickass cd. Chuck-D is still the co-voice of gangsta rap that meant something, along with Ice-Cube with and without NWA. I can still hear Bring the Noise and that kickass hook.

3) Nirvana - Nevermind, 1991
I like Nirvana okay, and I enjoyed the Unplugged immensely, but to me, they just fell into this and weren't close to the first or the best grunge band. I'll take Pearl Jam's 10 or anything by Soundgarden over this one. Don't get me wrong. It's top 100 and probably top 20, but no more than that.

4) Pavement - Slanted and Enchanted, 1992
Nope. Not it. It sounds good and that's fine, but come on. Fourth best in 20 years? Nuh uh. Not for me.

5) The Smiths - The Queen is Dead, 1986
I'm gonna sound like a tool here (as I often do), but I never got the The Smiths/Morrisey thing at all. That shit made me suicidal after about five minutes. I liked the Call, The Cure, The Church, The Outfield, The Firm, The Cult and The Alarm, but this one never worked for me.

I am getting the feeling that this list is going to go this way alot. I am going to speed this up and save the commentary for a precious few.

6) Pixies - Surfer Rosa, 1988
Nope. I put Pixies in with Talking Heads and the like.

7) De La Soul - Three Feet High and Rising, 1989
Umm...no. And that "Me, Myself and I" made me crabby almost the day it came out, and it didn't make me feel better the millionth time I heard it.

8) Prince - Sign O' The Times, 1987
Yep. this one's a top tenner. If this list started in 1984 instead of 1985, this is a top fiver. Great and ridiculously talented artist. Quirky, but the stuff he put out back then is timeless.

9) PJ Harvey - Rid of Me, 1993
Jesus Christ. 50 foot queenie? No.

10) N.W.A. - Straight Outta Compton, 1988
Hell yes. Hell fucking yes. This record kicked / kicks total ass. It was the first really public view of gangsta rap proper when the other 49 states said "Hmmm...what's all the ruckus from South Central?" This record had "Straight Outta Compton" as well as the polarizing "Fuck the Police," which led to Dr. Dre and Ice Cube getting mail from the FBI. That's serious shit for two guys in their early 20's (barely). Buy this. Buy two and give one to a friend.

11) U2 - Achtung Baby, 1991
Okay. Let's start with the fact that in the time period in question, there wasn't a bigger rock band in the world than U2. Period. There just wasn't. A U2 concert was a religious experience. And the album that made them megastars, Joshua Tree, is listed BELOW this one? Please. The credibility of the Spin list is slipping at warp speed. Their desire to be off-center is rendering their opinion valueless.

12) Beastie Boys - Paul's Boutique, 1989
Uh uh. Nope. These guys sucked and still do. I liked "License to Ill" because I was 18, drunk and a freshman in college and the record was fun. But I always thought the Beasties were a joke. You know, a put on. Like one day I'd wake up and someone like Adrock would be on M-tv saying "surprise!!!" Only they didn't.

13) Husker Du - New Day Rising, 1985
I only bought this record, but my dorm neighbors had a bunch of their stuff and I liked it. I liked it more when I was very drunk and couldn't work the stereo.

14) Sonic Youth - DayDream Nation, 1988
This is another band that goes in the same pile as Pixies. I never got it. I felt like it was joke that the whole room laughed at, and I didn't. Blech.

15) Liz Phair - Exile to Guyville, 1993
The lyrics may not be healthy for your pre-teen kids to listen to, but Liz Phair rocks. I don't think I've heard a song of hers that I don't like, even though sometimes all the talk about "I just want your fresh young jimmy Cramming slamming ramming in me" can be a little too much. Still, she rocks and is pretty hot.

16) Beck - Odelay, 1996
Oh fuck no. No fucking way. I would just as soon beat this guy to death with his two turntables and a microphone as look at him. He's the Beastie Boys of the 90's. Is anyone really listening to this shit?

17) NAS - Illmatic, 1994
Sorry. In 1994 I was out of my rap phase and full on into my Hootie and the Blowfish, Edwin McCain, Garth Brooks phase. I'll take a pass on this one.

18) Guns N' Rose - Appetite for Destruction, 1987
If Spin and other magazines that make lists didn't have their heads collectively up Beck and Sonic Youth's ass, they'd admit that, without question, THIS was the greatest fucking record of the period in question and is top two for me all-time. With the exception of the by-then established U2, there was no bigger and badder rock band in the World. I contend that Motley Crue started acting worse during this period to look badder than they were to compete.

Guns were young, broke, desperate and angry, and had a lot to say. Everyone knew that it could never last, and it didn't. There was too much rage. But that record (and the "Live Like a Suicide" EP should be in every CD case and ipod on the planet. Shit, Ipods should sell with this on it.

From the hammering opening riff of "Welcome to the Jungle" to the anger and violence of "It's so Easy" to "Nightrain" to the paranoia of "Out Ta Get Me" thru the heroine story of "Mr. Brownstone" to the arena rock thunder of "Paradise City" and beyond to the sad "My Michelle" to the big power ballad "Sweet Child O' Mine" to the extra highspeed "You're Crazy" and "Anything Goes" to the relatively calm "Rocket Queen," this record had everything. Slash was and is a brilliant guitarist, Steven Adler's heavy drums, Duff McKagen's punk influenced bass and Izzy Stradlin's rhythm guitar was perfect. This band and this record were, without question, the music industry's version of "The Perfect Storm."

19) Hole - Live Thru This, 1994
Before she went totally ass-over-teakettle crazy, I had a soft spot in my heart for Courtney Love. She seemed the more real and sincere of the two in that marriage. I also thought she was talented and brought something new. I'm just sorry she went so damned crazy.


Okay, here's where we're gonna take a short break. I am reading ahead on the list and, HOLY SHIT!! This list blows.

I am, for your benefit, going to list the remaining 81 records. Be warned.

20) Wu-Tang Clan - Enter the Wu-Tang (36 Chambers), 1993
As I said, the blowfish were in "full effect" by then, so I passed.

21) Public Enemy - Fear of a Black Planet, 1990
Great record by a great band / group that helped, along with NWA, to change how we hear hip pop, rap, etc.

22) My Bloody Valentine - Loveless, 1991
Who? This was a movie from the 80's that I enjoyed, but I don't recall the record.

23) Outkast -Stankonia, 2000
These two brothers are awfully talented, and this is a fun and entertaining record.

24) Seater-Kinney - Dig Me Out, 1997
I have no idea. None. I mean, I'm pop cultury and all, and I've never even heard of this band? How on earth are they in the top 25?

25) Nine Inch Nails - The Downward Spiral, 1994
Ridiculously talented Trent Reznor-led band. The album spoke to enough people that, on what was effectively his death's door album, Johnny Cash recorded "Hurt." Either version works and it's amazing that something from one man's soul could say so much being interprited through another's.

26) Bjork - Post, 1995
Two words: Fjuck No.

27) The Cure- The Head on the Door, 1985
Huge record. Robert Smith's makeup and frumpy clothing aside, this was an astoundingly powerful record, highlighted by "In Between Days." Everytime I see that HP commercial I want to run out and buy another Cure record.

28) Oasis - Definitely Maybe, 1994
While shit on by the media as Beatles copycats and doing themselves no favors by saying that they were bigger than the Beatles, this album was very good. Simple, clean lines, great guitar and good vocals. Sometimes it ain't rocket science and, as these boys would prove later, that's good. Because they sure weren't rocket scientists.

29) Fugazi - 13 Songs, 1989
Nothing. Another top 30 record I've never heard of. I'm getting a bit embarrassed.

30) The Notorious B.I.G., Ready to Die
This may be sacriliege, but I didn't get this. I liked and still like rap, I like lots of different music, but to me, this was nothing more than mushmouth on CD. I tried to listen to it and tried to like it. I just couldn't. And while I'd like to lay this at the feet of "oh, he's dead and a martyr" blah blah blah, it isn't that. Tupac was insanely talented and I love listening to his stuff. But ol' Biggy never did anything for me. Except make me want to get my fat ass off the couch more.

31) Dinosaur Jr. - You're Living All Over Me, 1987
meh...

32) The Replacements - Tim, 1985
I've apparently never given these guys too much of my time, but I've enjoyed what I've heard. I saw them in concert with Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers around '93 or so, and they were great live. At the time, though, they were just another opening band in a string of them I was seeing at the time.

33) Ice Cube - AmeriKKKa's Most Wanted, 1990
Cube and Dre are persons one and one A as far as I'm concerned. They were and are the heart and soul of pure gangsta rap.

34) Elliott Smith - Either / Or, 1997
Who? Isn't he that British guy that does infomercials?

35) Dr. Dre - The Chronic, 1992
Maybe the greatest solo rap record ever. Among other things, this record was the coming out party for now superstar Snoop Dee Oh double G. "This record's Nuthin' but a G Thang" kicked total ass. This is a must own. Period.

36) Pixies - Doolittle, 1989
Asked and answered.

37) Guided By Voices - Bee Thousand
Huh? What did you say?

38) A Tribe Called Quest - The Low End Theory, 1991
I remember liking it but not owning it.

39) Lucinda Williams - Lucinda Williams, 1988
I think she was on the first Survivor, but I'm not sure.

40) Run-D.M.C. - Raising Hell, 1986
Easily the biggest boom of any rap album ever. It not only made their career, it saved Aerosmith's as well. Astoundingly well done record that's a blast to listen to even now, nearly 20 years later.

41) Smashing Pumpkins - Siamese Dream, 1993
What makes me laugh is the publicity shot for the record makes Billy Corgan look like he's about eight years old. But the Pumpkins were amazing and this one killed too. Not Meloncholy killed, but still great. I was listening to some this morning and caught myself thinking "Man, it's a shame they couldn't keep their shit together. The world's short about 6 good records because of them.

42) Jane's Addiction - Nothing Shocking, 1988
Just like Guns N' Roses was the hard rock breakout, this record brought a whole other layer of hard-rock / bizarro folks out into the open. That summer was the summer of Jane's Addiction, T.S.O.L. and lots of other great bands. But Jane's was different. Before beer commercials, Mountain Song, Pigs in Zen and Jane Says were kicking ass. That record moved me.

One funny thing I recently read was that Coors Light spent more to rent "Mountain Song" for their commercials than the record company did to market the album. Yikes.

43) Boogie Down Productions -Criminal Minded, 1988
I only know that this is where KRS-1 started and was well before his work with REM on that "Hey Hey Hey" song.

44) Green Day - Dookie, 1994
This album is one of those few that changed music. This brought punk, or a form of it, back to the forefront and out of the basements of northern California. This record is full of great songs that don't lose their listenability at all. And I remember being shocked that someone got away with calling their record "dookie." Good stuff.


From now on, I'm only mentioning notables, because this list is killing me. Stupid lists.

45) Kanye West - College Dropout, 2004
Fucker had a fit at an awards show about Gretchen Wilson winning best new artist instead of him. What a baby.

48) Radiohead - Kid A, 2000
What is it with these guys? The more I hear about them, the less I ever want to listen to them.

49) Lauren Hill - The Miseducation of Lauren Hill, 1998
This was after the Fugees but before insanity set in, and she was amazing. I hope that someday she can be again.

50) New Order - Low-Life, 1985
Blech. Same Smiths-like, Morrissey type of British haircut shit I could never get or stand.

51-55
Nirvana - In Utero, 1993 - already too fucked up for this to work for me. I have no sympathy for heroin junkies anymore.
Beastie Boys - License to Ill, 1986 - Yay!!!
Rage Against the Machine - The Battle of Los Angeles, 1999 - Bad politics. Good music. Great anger.
The Breeders - Last Splash, 1993 -I like that cannonball song, but it never made me want to buy the record.
Chemical Brothers - Dig Your Own Hole, 1997 - Once I read techno, I just shut down. Sorry.

56-60
PJ Harvey - To Bring You My Love, 1995 - asked and answered.
The White Stripes - White Blood Cellsm 2991 - Just got it on the old Ipod, so I'll have to get back to you.
Metallica - Master of Puppets, 1986 - Holy shit, does that cd kick ass. Sanitarium may be my favorite "turn it up to 11 and blow the fucking speakers in the car" song. Truly amazing.
Modest Mouse - The Lonesome Crowded West, 1997 - Not yet.
De La Soul - De La Soul Is Dead, 1991 - No no no!! I can't fucking stand that "the groove is in the " song. ARRRRGGGHHH!!!

61-100 to come tomorrow or Monday. This is tiring....