I swore I wasn't going to talk about this crazy, horse-faced bitch anymore. I swore it. But now, I turn on the television to make sure that there are at least five thousand different forms of that NBC show Law & Order (including Law & Order: CI, Law & Order: SVU, Law & Order: TBJ and soon to TV's near you, Law & Order: FU Dick Wolf).

Anyway, I was flipping around (actually trying to find Beauty and the Geek on ABC) when I saw a Katie Couric / Dateline preview saying that next Tuesday night, Gwinnett County's craziest runaway, Ms. Wilbanks, would be going on TV with her stupid fucking fiance to talk about "her story."

Then, surprisingly (or not depending upon how cynical you are, this release hit the news yesterday just in time for the six o''clock news on the East Coast:

NEW YORK, June 15 /PRNewswire/ -- ReganMedia has acquired all media rights to the life stories of Jennifer Wilbanks and John Mason. ReganMedia is a multimedia company engaged in the production of motion pictures, television, live stage, books, and commercial products. In addition to continuing its wildly successful book publishing program, ReganMedia is currently developing and producing a variety of television programming and theatrical motion pictures for a wide range of studios and networks including HBO, A&E, NBC, WE, Discovery, AMC, FOX, VH1, Universal and 20th Century Fox.

ReganMedia is currently developing a scripted television project based on the Wilbanks-Mason story. This project is not with NBC, nor has any compensation been received from NBC for any Wilbanks-Mason project. ReganMedia always obtains the right to have control over all aspects of media development of its projects including any press interviews.

Now, the fact that this douchebag is still with her tells me he's even crazier than she is. I mean, she clearly ran to bang some stranger or not so stranger, panicked, and made up her idiotic tale, and you're STILL WITH HER?? Run, idiot!!! Run!!

Secondly, isn't this story over? Is this lunatic actually going to tell the truth about her trip? Of course not. If anything remotely entertaining for me to hear happened on that human trash-filled bus to Vegas, I'm sure her answer will be "you can read about that in my upcoming book "I'm a crazy horse-faced whore" by Pendant Publishing or some such nonsense by ReganMedia.

Oh, and did everyone at every fucking network in the country and every publishing house forget the law that says "IT'S ILLEGAL TO PROFIT FROM THE COMMITMENT OF A CRIME!!"

You know, the same law that keeps guys like Scott Peterson from writing children's stories about how much he loved his wife and unborn child and profiting from them is supposed to keep crazy-as-a-shithouse-rat girl from writing a "tell all" and profiting from it. Even though we all know that her "tell-all" won't tell a fucking thing. I mean, how could she not tell the truth to just one person on the phone, but we should all expect that she'll tell it to little old us in hardback form for the low price of $24.95?

I hope Danny Porter and Gwinnett County find a way to not only re-open her case, but also find ways to tack on additional charges AND sue her in civil court for full reimbursement of the rest of the money spent to find her PLUS damages. And in the process, I hope she gets kidnapped on the way to the courthouse by a Mexican man and a white woman, and they take her on a 30-state tour of our great country in a white, windowless van, taking turns hitting her over the head with the fucking yellow pages.

I mean, here's a woman who has made it all the more difficult for some women to report rape, battery and other sexual crimes committed upon them, and instead of treating her as the liar, thief and bullshit artist that she is, Katie Couric is the winner of the "who can kiss this bitch's ass the most to get her on their network?" Oh, and I'm sure NBC paid her and her poodle of a fiance to be on their over-promoted episode of dateline as well.

What's next? Selling that ugly blanket / head cover via silent auction at Sotheby's? Maybe putting some of her locks of hair on E-Bay?

I swear to God, I hope the runaway bride gets struck and killed by a runaway car. Or horse trailer. Or better yet, by a runaway bus full of psychopaths, or a bus full of runaway psychopaths or something.

Oh, and ReganMedia should have to pay a fine for getting involved in this cesspool. Shame on them, shame on horseface and her man on a leash, and shame on NBC.

Oh, and if you watch it, shame on you too.