Before I start, I'd like to ask that all children under the age of, say, 17 please cover their eyes and ears.

Are they covered? Good.

GOD DAMN MOTHER FUCKING COCKSUCKING SON OF A BITCH SHIT ON A STICK FUCK!!!!!!

There. I feel moderately better.

Why all the swearing, you might ask. Well let me tell you a story.

This morning, I was making my usual commute from outer suburbia to inner suburbia by heading south on one of Georgia's fine interstates: I-85. I have made this same commute at roughly the same time of day for about 10 years.

Anyway, as I am passing the merging traffic from 316 on my left, I notice that there is also some merging traffic from the right, I presume from Boggs Road or something like it.

I also notice a little silver something car to my right that's about half past me as we're both doing a comfortable 75 mph, except that she's drifting into my lane. I look to my left and it's box truck city, so no dice as far as me being able to give much quarter.

I then look to HER right, and the car over there is coming over...period. So instead of holding her lane, she comes into mine and WHAMMO!!!! I get hit in the same fucking right front quarter panel where I got hit in my office park just about a year ago right now.

We pull over and I am beyond fuming. I mean, exactly how many times am I going to be the guy whose car gets hit while doing absolutely nothing wrong? This is the third in under a year, by the way.

Anyway, I hit the flashers, I'm pulled over in front of her by about 30 yards, and I sit for a minute to compose myself because I am H-O-fucking-T HOT!!! I know it wasn't her fault per se, but I am damned sure it wasn't mine either.

I get to her car and she's writing furiously, including the tag number of the car that ran her into my lane and (she thinks) hit her car on the right as well. I can imagine that things get a little dicey when you're getting pinballed in a hyundai at over 70mph, so I commend her for being so together.

We exchanged insurance information, she was very calm (as was I surprisingly enough) and I asked if she knew what to do now. She did not.

I explained that we both would contact our insurance agents and file a claim, and then it'd go from there. Actually, since it was her fault, I will contact her insurance agent and we'll go from there.

I simply cannot believe that once again I was driving and minding my own business and getting hit. Is my trailblazer cursed? Are all Trailblazers cursed? I have had about enough of this shit though, that's for sure.

Please think good insurance thoughts, as I don't want to have to come off with another deductible. 500 extra bucks I ain't got, and my insurance doesn't need another one of these. We're getting into the "habitual accidenter" realm and that is most certainly NOT somewhere that I want to be.