After the four execu-weasels and Trump whore wanna-be's were fired (again...all four of them in one fell swoop), they all got into the same regular sized taxi. You know, the one that might seat three adults in the back, but only if one's a midget and one's anorexic?

Well, after dragging their little carry-on bags out of Trump Towers / Trump Plaza / Trump Look How Small My Penis Is Estates, they got in the cab.

The last 30 seconds of the show is usually dedicated to the shocked and saddened (and sometimes obliviously arrogant) fired employee giving sort of a final statement. I looked at the wife during that commercial break and said "What are they gonna do? Have each person talk for 7.5 seconds? This is gonna be great."

And when they cut back to the cab, no one said anything.

Not one word.

While funny, I was immediately driven to make a variety of suggestions for what one or all of them should or could have said in that situation.

Understand something here. In that setting and in that situation, a properly delivered line or shot over the bow of another contestant might earn one candidate entry into the reality television Hall of Fame. This was a big moment.

And as I mentioned before, they all sat there saying nothing, letting another chance of a lifetime slip through their oblivious fingers.

So with apologies to David Letterman, here is my list of things one of them (any of them) could have said to make that show ending the king of all reality show endings:


10)Who farted?
9) Did any of you guys tape "Survivor?"
8) Getting fired here is still WAY better than being on "The Apprentice-Martha Stewart."
7) George is gonna be so pissed that he missed THAT!
6) That Trump sure is a dick.
5) Well, that went well, don't you think?
4) So who's up for Scores?
3) Anybody want a blow job?
2) Ha Ha! You got fired!!
1) Hey everybody, I just farted.