I don't know what it is, but it seems that you can be the biggest dumbass in the free world and not only get but keep the job as second most powerful man in the United States. How is it possible that these buffoons like Quayle and Ford and Cheney got to where they ended up in politics?

Unless you live under a rock, you've heard the story out of Texas the Cheney's office did it's level damndest to cover up:

CORPUS CHRISTI, Texas - A 78-year-old hunting companion of Vice President Dick Cheney was recovering in stable condition Monday after Cheney accidentally shot him during a weekend quail hunting trip, a hospital official said.

Harry Whittington "rested well last night," said Peter Banko, hospital administrator at Christus Spohn Hospital Memorial. The hospital listed Whittington's condition as "very stable," he said.

Whittington, an Austin attorney, was flown to the hospital after Cheney accidentally shot him late Saturday afternoon at the Armstrong Ranch, hitting him with birdshot.

"It's not critical. It's not serious. It's just stable at this time," Banko said at a morning briefing. He said admitting Whittington to the trauma-intensive care unit was "a fairly common procedure" for a patient hit by a spray of the small pellets.

"I don't know how much spray he has got," Banko said. "My understanding from the physicians is that after you get peppered, sometimes they need to do exploratory surgeries if it gets lodged in a little deeper. Sometimes, it's tweezers. I can't really comment on how extensively he was sprayed."

Banko said he did not know when Whittington would be released, but in the meantime he was being visited by family and friends.

The vice president visited Whittington and his wife before returning to Washington on Sunday. Cheney "was pleased to see that he's doing fine and in good spirits," said Cheney spokeswoman Lea Anne McBride.

Whittington sent word through a hospital official that he would not comment on the incident out of respect for Cheney.

Ranch owner Katharine Armstrong told The Associated Press that the accident occurred after Cheney, Whittington and another hunter got out of a car to shoot at a covey of quail.

She said Whittington went to retrieve a bird he shot. Cheney and the third hunter, whom she would not identify, walked to another spot and discovered a second covey of quail.

Whittington "came up from behind the vice president and the other hunter and didn't signal them or indicate to them or announce himself," said Armstrong, who was in the car.

"The vice president didn't see him," she said. "The covey flushed and the vice president picked out a bird and was following it and shot. And by god, Harry was in the line of fire and got peppered pretty good."

Armstrong said the shotgun pellets broke the skin.

"It knocked him silly. But he was fine. He was talking. His eyes were open. It didn't get in his eyes or anything like that," she said.

Each of the hunters was wearing a bright orange vest at the time, Armstrong said.

The accident was not reported publicly by the vice president's office for nearly 24 hours, and then only after it was reported by the Corpus Christi Caller-Times on its Web site Sunday.

McBride said the vice president's office did not tell reporters about the accident Saturday because they were deferring to Armstrong to handle the announcement of what happened on her property.

Armstrong said everyone at the ranch was so "focused" on Whittington's health Saturday that it wasn't until Sunday she called the Caller-Times to report the accident. Her ranch is about 60 miles southwest of Corpus Christi.

Sally Whittington told The Dallas Morning News her father was being observed because of swelling from some of the welts on his neck. His face "looks like chicken pox, kind of," she said.

Whittington has been a private practice attorney in Austin since 1950 and has long been active in Texas Republican politics. He's been appointed to several state boards, including when then-Gov. George W. Bush named him to the Texas Funeral Service Commission.

Armstrong said Cheney is a longtime friend who comes to the ranch to hunt about once a year and is "a very safe sportsman." She said Whittington is a regular, too, but she thought it was the first time the two men hunted together.

The 50,000-acre Armstrong ranch has been in the influential South Texas family since the turn of the last century. Katharine is the daughter of Tobin Armstrong, a politically connected rancher who has been a guest at the White House and spent 48 years as director of the Texas and Southwestern Cattle Raisers Association. He died in October. Cheney was among the dignitaries who attended his funeral.

Cheney was legally hunting with a license he purchased in November, Texas Parks and Wildlife Department spokesman Steve Lightfoot said.

Associated Press writers Nedra Pickler in Washington and Paul J. Weber in Dallas contributed to this report.

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Now, there are several problems with this story, but here's the main one. Since when did it become protocol to "announce your return" to your hunting party? Here's what I figure happened:

Cheney, Whittington, a couple of guides and whomever are roaming thru thigh high grass trying to rustle up some quail. Whittington heads behind a tree to take a piss, but his 78 year old prostate's giving him trouble, so it takes a good while to finish the job.

Then, he starts shuffling back up to the group, Cheney is all excited and inexperienced, hears a sound and turns around and fires. After all, a 78 year old trial lawyer looks a lot like a four pound quail flying out of the grass.

Jesus Christ, people. The Vice President didn't just miss a dear and wound some redneck in the ass a mile away sitting in a tree stand. Shotguns are ineffective at 50-75 feet for hunting impossible to shoot by ameteurs from further than that, yet Cheney was close enough to a guy to pepper him in the face and neck and chest with a bunch of birdshot.

I figure Cheney was no further than 30 feet from the guy and shot him. And this is the guy who's a step away from having access to "the button?"

When's the next election again, and where do I sign up for a job where I get to do whatever I want, never work, and get in absolutely no trouble for shooting another citizen in the face at extremely close range?