The Adventures of TMLSB
I'm a little bit country and a little bit rock n' roll
Friday, April 21, 2006
Tour Contract Riders for Rock Stars
I love this pilfering ideas from other blogs. My friend Ethel posted an entry asking what your tour riders would be. See, it's sometimes amusing to see what various celebrities and divas ask for in tour riders.

The old stories about bands wanting M&M's sorted by color, socks, specific soaps and crap like that is amusing to us mortal men and women who return home to sleep in our own beds every night. But for folks on the road for 18 months at a time, I imagine the riders are about 50% normalcy and 50% sanity. Sometimes asking for Boone's Farm by the case is funny, even if you're not the Foo Fighters.

So, without further adieu, here are my tour riders. Now keep in mind that I'm making these requests knowing that if I were a celebrity, I'd have a personal trainer to keep me in shape regardless of what I ate or drank, and I'd also be immune to local and federal laws.

1) A Big Green Egg would be there for my cooking and dining pleasure both before and after the show.

2) There would have to be a 40gb iPod loaded with whatever.

3) The top ten books on the NY Times fiction and non-fiction lists.

4) Six pairs of Abercrombie & Fitch's boxers, size Large.

5) Six white crew neck Abercrombie & Fitch undershirts.

6) Two bags of Oreo Doublestuffs and two gallons of Vitamin D whole milk.

7) Two cases of Sam Adams (variety pack)

8) One bottle of Cristal (you gotta roll that way)

9) One whole Prime grade Ribeye cut into two-inch thick steaks

10) A 65-inch HD TV with DVD player. Oh, and copies of the entire Will Farrell library of films.

11) NO FLOWERS OR VEGETABLES!!

12) One dozen freshly laundered bath and hand towels.

13) 100 Megamillion Quickpick Lottery tickets.

14) One fresh, crisp, new hundred dollar bill.