When you're 16 or 21 or even 26, you hear old men (translated: your dad and the fathers of your friends) say things about the clothes people are wearing, the music they're listening to or anything else, and you think to yourself "Man, what a loser. I'll never end up like THAT."

Well, in the last year or two, I've started saying things like "I sure wish the kid in that toyota corolla with spinners and a spoiler would turn that Wu Tang Clan down," and "My kids will NEVER be caught DEAD in THAT!" and other old man things.

Then today, I stumbled across this picture. I want to preface this by saying that there's no way on God's green ball of dirt and water that I would ever just cruise the GAP site. Ever. This was a link I found on a site I read every day for amusement.

Anyway, here's the picture.


Now I will make the following statement:

I would, even at age 37, still feel compelled and quite driven to beat the shit out of a guy I saw wearing capri pants. If I was near a PRIDE parade or something, it would be quite different. But if, say, one of my nephew's buddies showed up at the house in these, I'd be given no choice but to throw him on the floor and give him a series of uber-painful purple nurples, Indian sunburns and even an atomic wedgie if I were so inclined.

So be warned, metro Atlanta. TMLSB is on the prowl, and he ain't cottonin' to no dudes wearing capris.

Although, the kicky thongs might have to go on my wish list...